One of the biggest things I’ve struggled with so far are ways to stay connected during medical school. I haven’t seen my family in months and I have no idea when I’ll be able to see my friends again. However, to completely isolate myself for the next four years is definitely not an option. Although I adore my classmates, it is refreshing to not talk about muscle innervations, or the time that one professor did XYZ.
I LOVE spending time with my family and I miss grabbing drinks with my friends. But at the same time, I’m pursuing this really laborious and time-consuming degree. If you are attending medical school as well, or planning to, this is something you relate with, or will.
Finding the balance between study time and social time can be a challenge. It is so easy to get bogged down in the study that you forget you need to spend time with friends and family. They will keep you grounded and are the perfect study break!
So, how exactly do you do that? How can you balance 60+ hour study/work weeks with sleep, exercise, a social life, and everything else you’re supposed to do to live a well-rounded life? It takes making choices, and potentially using a calendar. It can be hard to walk away from your school work, especially when you feel like you’re not doing well enough to take a break. However, it’s essential! Below are 11 ways to stay connected during medical school.
1. Watch shows together
The power of TV is underrated, but as far as ways to stay connected during medical school, it’s top tier. With Hulu, Netflix, HBO Max, Showtime, etc. your options are endless. I know, you’re in medical school and too busy to do anything, let alone watch TV.
BUT, TV shows take an hour to watch. An hour out of your week won’t kill you. In fact, it’s the perfect break and bonding time with your friends or family. Plus, who likes getting on social media and seeing spoilers of shows they haven’t seen yet? Plan a time with your family, friends, boo, whoever to hop on FaceTime, Skype, or Zoom, to watch a favorite TV show together. Kick your feet up and enjoy!
2. Make wellness calls
It’s very easy to get so caught up in medical school that you forget to reach out to people. In the same breath, you might be wondering, well why aren’t they reaching out to me? I am the one in medical school after all! Well, I had to learn this lesson from my mom, everyone doesn’t think like that. Some relatives or friends may think you’re so busy that when you get a moment, you will call them. Others may get so busy with their lives that it’s sort of like an out of sight, out of mind thing. You aren’t around and they just don’t think to reach out.
It’s okay to extend that first line of communication. Choose a 30-45 minute window to call people or text them, just asking how they’re doing. Your text can literally read “Hey, haven’t talked to you in a while and just hoping you’re doing okay!” That generates a series of responses from friends and family you haven’t heard from in months. It may seem taxing, but at the end of the day, it’s really nice to hear back from everyone. And who knows, you do that often enough, maybe people will pick up on the trend and start reaching out to you?
3. Schedule FaceTime dates
The technology we have in our clutches is unbelievable. We can talk to people halfway across the world in seconds! Use this technology to your advantage. Phone calls are one thing but seeing someone’s face and their expressions adds a whole other level to the call.
But often, the problem with FaceTimes, Skype, Zoom, etc. is that we plan out the call, but never actually follow through with it. This is where the word “schedule” comes into play. Make an actual date to FaceTime someone, schedule it for 45 minutes – 1 hour so you don’t get stuck on the phone, and stick to it. Add it to your calendar, incorporate it into your schedule and hold the other person accountable as well. Making the FaceTime a concrete plan will increase its chances of actually happening. Then you can enjoy that laugh or smile that you haven’t seen in so long.
4. Write letters
Ah, the lost art of letter writing. There’s something very personal about a handwritten note. The sloppy handwriting and adding your scent wonders for friends and family on the receiving end. It takes an hour to write a couple of letters, throw them in an envelope, and drop them off at a post office. I would bet that your school even has an outgoing mailbox that you could use.
Then ask them to send letters back, this way you get to see their handwriting, and it gives you a keepsake. You can look back at them and say, “Man, when I was in medical school, I used to love getting letters from my grandma.” I bet she will likely say the same, especially because writing letters is so nostalgic for older generations. Buy some stamps, paper, envelopes, and a nice pen and start the tradition now. Once a month is all you need. Even send some drawings, polaroids, or something!
5. Plan monthly get togethers
I know, you probably looked at this one and said, “Darian, you want me to actually leave my house? No way, you go too far!”.
But I’m here to tell you, “DO IT. DO IT. DO IT!”
You have to leave your apartment, room, library, study space, whatever, and get out there and see things. You may live too far from family to plan monthly get-togethers with them, but if you have friends or family in the area, it’s nice to just schedule a monthly brunch, or dinner. Switch up the ways to stay connected during medical school.
Maybe, you go over a relative’s house for meals because who has time to really cook in medical school? This is an easy obligation that you can add to your calendar. If you have to flake every now and then, then okay. But out of a month, you have an hour or two you can spare to hang out and take a break from all things medical.
If you don’t have friends or family in the area, plan this time with your medical school friends. Tell them you don’t want to talk about medical school, and try to have a fun game night, happy hour, or day party. Something enjoyable that takes everyone’s minds off the stress of medical school.
6. Make a shared photo album
You’ve got to love the technology available at our fingertips. This is one of the most fun ways to stay connected during medical school because you can update your life through pictures and keep up with your families. You may not be taking a ton of pictures, but if you do go somewhere or do something fun, definitely add it. Your family members can add pictures and videos when they’re doing something fun so you’re not completely left out.
There is a warning with this one though. You may experience FOMO. What’s FOMO? Fear of Missing Out. Nothing like pictures from a big family gathering will make you feel nostalgic and sad you can’t join the festivities. It’s normal to feel that way, but you have to understand life can’t stop just because you dedicated your life to this field. I know, I wish it could too, but everyone does have to keep pushing forward. It’s nice to at least feel a part of it by seeing pictures and videos, than to have completely missed the moment entirely.
7. Have virtual game nights
In the world of COVID-19, virtual activities is the name of the game. But even when we’re not in a global pandemic, still utilize the virtual game idea as one of the ways to stay connected during medical school. More often than not, you won’t be able to make it home for game nights and family time. It’s better to find a way to virtually play games to keep up that family/friend competitiveness.
So what games can you play virtually? Well, in my opinion, it’s most fun when you can see people’s faces. I suggest that you call them on Zoom where you can share your screen. From there, you can play online Family Feud, Jeopardy, or you can play an online version of a card game. Maybe you take this time to get creative and come up with a new virtual game? This is the time to be creative and think outside the box so you don’t go crazy!
8. Start a book club
Yes, yes, yes, leisurely reading. I know your eyes are burned open and you may feel like if you read another word, your brain will explode. Well, it won’t, and there’s something different about reading books you may enjoy. Set up a Goodreads account and find some books on there you would like to talk about. Find some friends or family and have everyone get the book, then set a time frame for the book to be read. At the end, you can get on Zoom and discuss the book, update your shelves on Goodreads, and have spent some quality time discussing something and thinking critically about something so fun and relaxed.
Here are some great books to check out:
- Becoming Michelle Obama – Michelle Obama
- Queenie – Candace Carty-Williams
- Between the World and Me – Ta-Nehisi Coates
- Black Leopard, Red Wolf – Marlon James
- It’s Not All Downhill From Here – Terry McMillan
- The Hate U Give – Angie Thomas
- The Travelers – Regina Porter
- Lot – Bryan Washington
9. Send videograms
Videograms are much better ways to stay connected during medical school than just pictures, texts, or phone calls. Want proof?
10. Go home when you can
Listen, work will always be there and you will always have the chance to chase money and promotions. Family events, holidays, birthdays, and celebrations will not. Sometimes you do have to make those hard sacrifices. But, when you can, please go home. No other ways to stay connected during medical school even come close to actually going home and seeing your friends and family.
If you need to take a few hours to hole up and study, go to a coffee shop and get some work done, then do it. But come up for air and just enjoy seeing people and being around them. Even if your family is a dysfunctional mess, go find some loved ones or friends to go and visit and spend time with. You won’t regret it, and the feeling of being surrounded by loved ones is undefeated.
11. Plan vacations
I know money is tight and you’re trying to stretch those loans as far as they go, but vacations are one of the funnest ways to stay connected during medical school. Vacations and trips create these long-lasting, unforgettable moments that you’ll remember for the rest of your life.
Start planning early, and save a little each month. Maybe don’t eat out as much and recycle some clothes. Find a way to take a little road trip and split a hotel, catch a cheap flight and stay in an AirBNB, or with a friend. If your family is going on vacation, tell them to TAKE YOU WITH THEM! Go on those trips while you can because years 3 and 4 of medical school and residency will offer few chances for you to go out there and live your best life.
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