Feeling Unheard and Frustrated: Devotional for the Ignored and Irritated

There is nothing more frustrating than feeling unheard.

Drawing on our current climate, there is a large group of people in this country that feel this way. Black Americans, LBGTQ+ members, women, abuse victims, and more are feeling ignored. We have protested, written letters, called for change on social media, and thrown a nationwide tantrum in response to not being heard. I don’t mean tantrum in a belittling sense, but as a tactic used by children that feel unheard. When they have tried everything, but still are not feeling as if anyone is listening, they resort to the one thing that gets everyone’s attention:

A tantrum.

As a parent, babysitter, or bystander, you notice the tantrum. It’s loud, it’s irrational, it’s attention getting. You must stop everything and listen. This is exactly what is happening currently in America. Black America is tired of feeling unheard. Everyone against police brutality is also tired of feeling unheard. Any marginalized population facing injustice is tired of being unheard. After several different methods, including peaceful protests, we have resorted to something drastic. Although all methods may not be right, it got the attention of everyone. Especially people in power.

This method has been effective in several cases of injustice. However, in our everyday lives, we cannot resort to this level. As future doctors, lawyers, business people, educators, etc. you have a lot to say. There is a lot of good that you have to offer the world. Whether you’re teaching, healing, or answering questions, what you have to say is valuable.

So when you feel your words falling on deaf ears, it’s hard not to get immediately exasperated. With coworkers, patients, parents, spouses or significant others, we have to keep our cool. If we started busting windows and screaming after a work conflict, we would be escorted out EXPEDITIOUSLY. So we have to find a different way to deal with feeling unheard.

If you’re anything like me, you just stop talking. We hold in what we want to say because what’s the point? The person you’re talking to isn’t listening. Then we start to hold in our feelings of frustration. After so many instances of continuing to be ignored or shut up, we feel a pressure start to build inside of us. This either results in an explosion or a deep-seeded resentment. Both of which are complete poison to us.

So what do we do when we are feeling unheard?

Let’s take a look at God’s instructions for the 12 Apostles. In Matthew, Chapter 10, God gives clear instructions to the Apostles on how to help a town. He instructs them to heal the sick and cast out demons, without receiving anything in return. He tells them when they find a worthy home, let their peace come out. However, if it is not worthy, then keep their peace.

The most important part of this story is Matthew 10:14-15 which says,

“¹⁴And if anyone will not receive you or listen to your words, shake off the dust from your feet when you leave that house or town. ¹⁵ Truly, I say to you, it will be more bearable on the day of judgment for the land of Sodom and Gomorrah than for that town”. (ESV)

God is telling them to go and do all of these great things. But if they aren’t appreciated or listened to, then wipe your feet and keep going. Keep their peace. Don’t waste it on those who are not worthy. For when judgement day comes, those who didn’t listen will be the ones struggling. But those who are spreading good Gospel and those who listened, will be reaping His benefits.

Applying the message to our lives when we are feeling unheard

We have to follow this same path. If we are putting more positivity into the world, then we have nothing to worry about. We are doing God’s work. If someone doesn’t want to hear us, they are the ones taking the L at the end of the day. We can’t let ourselves get so frustrated, we stop doing God’s work. Don’t let people’s thickness silence you. You have a lot of powerful stuff to say and if certain people don’t want to hear it, then keep your message and keep it moving.

In our relationships, friendships, classes, and jobs, we have to learn how to better deal with feeling unheard. It’s common and most times people don’t even know they are shutting us down. Sometimes they feel they are the most knowledgeable in a room and don’t have to listen. Sometimes they prioritize their own feelings above others’ and tune out anything that doesn’t have anything to do with them. Regardless of why they choose to ignore you, don’t let it rile you up. Say what you have to say, and if it’s not heard, simply take a breath and let it go.

Release it, say a quick prayer and know that God hears you.

His ears are the one that matter because sooner or later He will get your message across. If the people in your life don’t want to listen, that’s unfortunate, but ok. Because God, who has the power of change in His hands, is listening with wide open ears.

We know this for John 9:31 tells us, “We know that God does not listen to sinners. He listens to the one that does his Godly will”. He will either give you a platform to be heard, or make others wish they had been listening to you this whole time. It’s so frustrating to feel ignored. But one day, you will be in a position to freely express yourself and be heard by those around you. Keep speaking. Keep expressing yourself. You have a purpose and you will be heard.

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