Open Letter from a Grieving Medical Student: Faith Over Sadness

This post is dedicated to my lovely grandmother, Faith.

Dear Grandma,

Death is not the end. Death is the beginning of a great new adventure. You touched so many people’s lives on this Earth, I will be waiting with high anticipation to see the lives you touch as you oversee us. I know you have your strong arms wrapped tightly around your family. We always appreciated how fiesty you were, and how you stood up for each one of us. Even if we didn’t agree with you, at the end of the day we knew you had our best interests at heart and wanted to protect us from all the bad in this world that we had no clue about.

I also know that you and I shared the trait of openness. Our vulnerability towards strangers and friends sometimes got us stung, but left us with great friends and memories. So many people knew and loved you because of your infectious spirit. I loved you because of your tenacity. Your grit. Your strength. All of these wonderful attributes that you passed down to my mom, and then to me. One of these days, I hope to be blessed with a daughter and pass down the same traits. We are strong women, and when we get knocked down, nothing stops us from getting back up.

I am resilient and a fighter because that’s who you wanted your family to be.

No one had more faith and optimism that I would be in medical school than you. With each hurdle I’ve faced on my journey to medical school and now my time in medical school, you have been there to offer words of encouragement. You always told me if it’s in the Lord’s plans then it would happen in its own time. If I ever had a problem, you just told me to pray about it. We clicked so well and you were always so easy to talk to, even when I was being hard headed.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel robbed. I wish I would have called you more or been home more. Selfishly I want you here and I would give anything to see your name pop up on the phone and hear “Hey Miss Dozier, it’s your grandma. Call me.” But for now I’ll just have to settle for your saved voicemails.

I know you’re pain free and at rest. I know that you will be with me as I continue ahead in my journey. You told too many people that I was going to be a doctor; I owe it to both of us to finish out that mission.

I’m letting myself feel that sadness.

But I know that Faith will get me through. It doesn’t seem real that I have to live life without you. As I come to accept that, I know you are with me every step of the way. I hope you know how much I love you and how much I cared about you. We had so many plans, and I was working this hard so you could have my guest house when I finally made it. I am sad, but I am also happy and grateful for the time I got with you and the memories we made.

I love you grandma. Your stubbornness and determination are the reason I am where I am, and I will be forever grateful for you. Rest in power.

Love always,

A grieving medical student

7 thoughts on “Open Letter from a Grieving Medical Student: Faith Over Sadness

  1. Mary Scott says:

    Thank you for that wonderful testament to your grandmother. Not only does it honor her, it allows all of us who had grandmothers who were so important in making us who and what we are today take a moment to honor them, too. I have tears on my face right now, but prayers on my lips for you and your family, and faith in my heart that you will continue to make your grandmother proud. Stay strong, and stay the course. It’s what our grandmothers’ granddaughters do.

    Reply
    1. Darian D. says:

      I’m so glad you liked it and were able to connect with it. It’s a strange new existence, but together, we will make it through. That’s what they would have wanted us to do.

      Reply
  2. Brooke says:

    Darian, I am so proud of you for allowing yourself to feel and express your grief and sadness. I know that your grandmother is so proud of you. You have a whole team behind you to lean on as you continue to do some really amazing things. Her love and our love is here to back you when things feel tough. Love you lots and what a wonderful tribute to the legacy your grandmother left.

    Reply
    1. Darian D. says:

      Thank you for all of your support and having a strong community behind me right now is so comforting. <3

      Reply
  3. Leslie A Wilder says:

    Darian, such a beautiful tribute to your grandmother’s legacy. Once again you are destined for greatness and making your grandmother as well as all of us proud.

    Reply

Leave a Reply