10 Great Reasons to Read “You are a Badass”

You Are a Badass and as soon as you believe this statement, there is nothing that can stop you. The year is 2020, and everyone is stuck in quarantine due to COVID-19. This is the perfect time to start conquering those goals that have been pushed to the back burner. You have all this new free time. What are you going to do with it?

Are you going to learn how to bake? Will you going to hop on Pinterest and try out a new DIY project? Are you going to launch an online business? Are you going to go back to school? Whatever you are considering, I have a suggestions that may give you insight to realize your greatness. You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life is a self-help book by Jen Sincero.

I read this book, not as a pre-med, but as a pre-blogger. However, had I read this during my first application process, my beliefs about my capabilities may have improved tremendously. I have always talked about blogging but had no idea where to start. I needed a boost that this was really something I could accomplish and potentially turn into a brand. You Are a Badass was exactly that. Below are 10 reasons that this book is will help you be great at whatever endeavor you embark upon.

Reason #1: You Are a Badass Helps with Decision Making

The beginning of You Are a Badass highlights the important of making decisions and what exactly that means. Everyday we are faced with decisions. Right now during quarantine, your decisions may be pretty easy. “What time am I getting out of bed?” “What will I eat today?” “Am I going to workout?” These are simple decisions that require little, to no thought. Most importantly, they won’t derail your life in a major way (unless you eat too many quarantine snacks and don’t exercise).

But what about the big decisions?

Where will I go to school? Which job will I take? What house do I want to buy? Am I ready to start my own business?

These are questions we ask ourselves that may take a lot of deliberation and cause us a lot of stress in our lives. We feel this sense of uneasiness whenever we start to lean to one direction or the other.

When making major decisions, I have a piece of advice. Go with the decision you really want and makes the most sense. From there, just roll with the punches. When you’re stuck at a crossroad, you normally know which decision you want to make. It’s clear as day in your face and might scare you a little (or a lotta). But you can’t stop thinking about it. For some reason, fear, lack of confidence, support, or whatever, we struggle making timely and firm decisions.

THIS IS HOLDING US BACK.

Currently, I have to decide which medical school I want to attend. I’m blessed to have this predicament, but it is a difficult decision to make. I know which school I want to attend, but there are so many factors I have to consider. However, if I don’t make a decision, then I won’t be going anywhere. If I don’t stick with my decision, then I will jeopardize everything I have worked for. Therefore, I have to make a decision and believe it’s the right one, and so do you.

My other big decision was deciding to just start this blog. Instead of just talking about it, Auntie Rona forced me to be about it. I made this decision and I’m happy to be able to share my thoughts with you. What change in your life could happen from making that brave decision? You Are a Badass will help give you the confidence and insight you need to make whatever decision it is that could change your life.

Reason #2: You Are a Badass Provokes Consideration of Your Community

“Birds of a feather…flock together…” The age old adage that essentially tells you to check your circle. When you are chasing your dreams, it is so important that you have the right energy surrounding you.

“Surround yourself with people who think the way you want to think”.

Jen Sincero – You Are a Badass

If you share your dreams with a friend and all they tell you is how outrageous they are, that will only discourage you. You will begin to doubt your abilities. Just because someone else’s dreams didn’t work out, doesn’t mean your plans are destined for the same failure. If you are surrounded by people not doing anything with their lives, then it will be hard to feel motivated to do or want better.

I have an exercise for you. I want you to take a second and consider your circle of friends. By friends, I mean the people who you kick it with most often, talk to the most, your forreal homies. Now ask yourself this question: Am I the smartest, most successful, most ambitious, most creative, one in the group?

If the answer is yes to more than one of those, then I’ve got some tea for you…it’s time to find a new group.

Find like minded people to associate with and use as motivation.

Now I don’t mean get all boujee and drop off your crew because you want to get a degree. The people in your life are there for a reason. However, it would benefit you to start networking with people who are on the same path as you. It’s also time to identify the low key haters in your group. You know the ones that make sly comments that get you looking like:

Once you figure them out…go ahead and phase them out. There is something about your success, drive, and willingness to be successful, that threatens them. If they can keep you on the same, or lower, stoop as them, then they will always feel superior. When you start to tune them out, you will discover what you truly are capable of. If you need help finding out what type of people you need to have around you, use You Are a Badass for some guidance.

Reason #3: Faith Over Fear

You gotta have faith. If your dreams were easy, you would have already accomplished them. So just understand they are going to be hard and there are going to be some barriers that get in your way. Are you going to take this as a sign that move isn’t for you? Are you going to give up? Will you just quit?

In Chapter 2 of You Are a Badass, Jen Sincero says, “Have you ever had a dream where you’re flying and you’re having such a blast but then you realize, hey, wait a minute, I’m flying–I can’t fly, and then you come crashing back down to the ground and you can’t get yourself back up again? No matter what you try? This is the way beliefs work. Even if it seems impossible, you have to have faith anyway, and the second you stop believing you pop the bubble and stop attracting the magic in your life.”

It’s only crazy until you do it.

Believing that, you can do the impossible, regardless of obstacles is how you turn Crazy Dreams into an Amazing Reality. Getting denied by 9 medical schools 2 years ago seemed like the universe was telling me I wasn’t ready. This could have been interpreted two ways:

1. I wasn’t ready and I needed a new career field because this clearly wasn’t for me.
2. I wasn’t ready…yet

Yet…the magical little detail

That 3 letter word will help restore your faith when even the mightiest storm comes and tries to rain on your parade. If I hadn’t had faith that this was God’s plan for me then I wouldn’t be starting medical school in the fall. I knew I was capable. I just needed some time to make sure I was really ready. You just have to be patient with yourself and continue to believe in the seemingly impossible.

Reason #4: The Growth Mindset

How do you view problems? Do you view them as obstacles stopping you from getting what you want? The Devil hard at work? Someone or something out there trying to stop your bag?

or

Do you view it as an opportunity to show your greatness? A chance for you to learn something new? A situation designed to prove to yourself and others just how capable you are?

The way you view The Unexpected is broken down into two categories, a Challenge or an Opportunity. A challenge is something that you back away from. It is something that intimidates you and tells you that you can’t accomplish your goals. Challenges make you grimace and scare you out of trying before you even start. Opportunities are more positive and offer this idea of possibility. They are a chance to prove just how smart, confident, capable, or sensational you really are. Opportunities are inviting and you are often excited for them. Viewing The Unexpected as an Opportunity is what experts refer to as a Growth Mindset.

A growth mindset is what separates successful people from people who have failed and given up.

In You Are a Badass, Jen Sincero draws on this, “So if you finally decide to quit your soul-crushing job and start the pastry shop of your dreams, be not upset if a pasty truck drives through your front window into your scones. Instead of taking this as a sign that you shouldn’t have opened your shop, take it to mean that you’re ridding yourself of your BS and moving in the right direction”. Life is out of your control, and when you finally accept that and enjoy the ride, you’ll be a lot less stressed. When you’re relaxed, you laugh a lot more, and learn to let go and move on.

I got denied from medical school and started a blog when I know nothing about advanced computer land. You Are a Badass gave me the confidence to just go ahead and start it. What was the worst that could happen? No one reads it and I’m talking to myself. Is that disheartening, sure, but is it the worst thing ever? No. And in going through applying to medical school twice, I have learned so much that I am able to share it with you in this blog.

So if you know that you struggle with optimism through the storm, check out You Are a Badass for some insight and practices to help you.

Reason #5: You Are a Badass Reinforces the Dangers of Comparison

Throughout my senior year of college, I saw my fellow classmates posting their med school acceptances. I couldn’t help but feel inadequate, sad, left behind, disappointed and outright mad at myself for not taking my four years seriously. But then I had to stop and think, I’ve had an Unbelievable Undergraduate Experience! I’ve traveled to multiple countries and all over the United States. I learned a new language, made friends for a lifetime, and joined whatever organization I wanted to.

Why was I so busted up that I didn’t get in on my first try? No one banned me from medical school forever??? So there was no reason flip out out and be so hard on myself. Did I lose out on some money? Sadly, yes… But would the last two years of my life have happened? Absolutely not. I wouldn’t have gotten to experience the behavioral health center I worked at nor traveled as much. I also wouldn’t have moved home and reconnected with old friends, or been able to coach my favorite sport at my old high school. Everything happens for a reason and getting caught up on someone else’s path is a waste of time because you have your own path.

Jen Sincero reiterates my sentiments in Chapter 6. “Comparison is the fastest way to take all the fun out of life”. When you start comparing your life, your job, your body, your hair, your significant other, your kids, your house, your intelligence, your whatever, to anyone else, you miss out on enjoying what you DO have. If you constantly find yourself feeling jealous and insecure with what you’ve got going on, You Are a Badass will help you see your life in a different light.

Reason #6: You Are a Badass Teaches Us Forgiveness = Happiness

Forgiveness is one of the most underrated and misunderstood elements of life. It has this notion attached to it that we must forget a wrong done to us or that we are not allowed to be mad over how a person treated us. Being upset with someone and holding them to a standard to be part of your life is perfectly acceptable. You shouldn’t allow anyone to mistreat you. If they do fall below your standards, then out the door they go.

Forgiveness is not for them though. Forgiveness is for you. Imagine that hate, anger or vengeance weighs 50 pounds. When you sleep you have that 50 pounds. Anytime you run around and exercise you have that 50 pounds. When you’re out with friends trying to have a good time you have that 50 pounds. While you’re chasing your dreams, taking care of your family, enjoying some well deserved me-time, anything, you are carrying that 50 pounds. Over time this 50 pounds wears you out, and pretty soon you don’t have the energy or focus to continue on with your life to its fullest potential.

However this 50 pounds is different from body weight because you can take 30 seconds and drop it. It’s almost like you’re putting down a heavy backpack and can finally stretch fully. So why would you hold on to this 50 pounds when you can just drop it? Being mad at someone is nothing but a distraction and heartache for YOU.

Just drop it!

You having an attitude about their existence has no effect on their life. They may feel some type of way, but they will continue one with their life. The better their life goes, the more pissed off you are. So why carry that burden when you can forgive them and move on? You don’t have to be friends with them or even forgive them to their face. If you know deep in your heart that you have forgiven them and decided to let that hurt go, you are releasing yourself from bondage that has stopped you from being successful.

I had to learn to forgive myself for not taking college seriously enough and forgive the admissions offices for having the audacity to deny my applications! (Honestly very justified in being upset with them 🤷🏾‍♀️) But doing that has allowed me to see the good in my rejection, learn from it, and enjoy the extra free time I have been gifted

“Forgiveness is all about taking care of you, not the person you need to forgive. It’s about putting your desire to feel good before your desire to be right”.

Jen Sincero, You Are a Badass

If you are struggling with forgiveness, Chapter 15: Forgive or Fester, is right up your alley.

Reason #7: Self-Reflection is Essential

When you look in the mirror, you see a superficial reflection of yourself. But what do you see when you really look AT yourself. For example, we all know that person that can never keep a job, a significant other, a stable housing situation, a car, a phone service, etc. They never seem to think of themselves as the problem. Everyone else knows they are the problem, but they never stop for a second to be realistic with themselves. Until they decide to do that, their circumstances will never change.

When I was rejected by all those schools I was so confused because I had convinced myself that I had worked my butt off. There was no reason I couldn’t get at least one yes. Then I had to sit there and really be critical of my efforts. Did I have to go to every football and basketball game? Did I really try my hardest to get help in classes I didn’t understand? Could I have put forth any more effort? When you sit down and reflect on your life you force yourself to answer the hard questions honestly. This helps you determine where you are at in life and what more you need to be doing to get where you want to go.

Excuses are the easiest thing to come up with. We always have a reason for why we can’t or haven’t done something. The real question is, when are you going to do something? When is “NO” no longer going to be an option? You have the capability to succeed and what you want is out there. You just have to stop making excuses and go after it.

Reason #8: Failure is the Pre-Req of Success

All the G.O.A.T.S. of our lifetimes did not have a one way ticket to success. There were some setbacks, downfalls, pits, hurt feelings, and busted egos. This list of Black Billionaires in 2019 is full of successful Black men and women who faltered before they rose. To this day, they probably are still stumbling, their falls just don’t hurt as bad because they have a billion dollars to fall on 😅. You cannot fear failure because failure is what it takes to be successful. Each time you take an L[oss], you actually gain an L[esson] (see what I did there 😆).

I did not fail at applying to medical school, I just learned 9 ways not to do it. When you view it as a learning opportunity instead of an embarrassing loss, you find a way to maximize that experience. After you succeed you can reflect, laugh, and share your come up story with the next generation.

The only failure is quitting. Everything else is just gathering information.

Jen Sincero, You Are a Badass

In Chapter 23, Sincero lays out 6 examples of incredible people that we adore and love who all faced adversity in their lives. However, if they had quit when the world told them no, we would have no idea who those people were today. How many things have you quit because it got hard or you were rejected? Rejection builds character, it is not an excuse to quit.

Reason #9: You Are a Badass Changes How You View Money

Our relationship with money is complicated because while we yearn for it, we also detest it for some reason. Society has essentially taught us that if you don’t have money, you shouldn’t be focusing all of your energy on attaining it. If you do have money, then you’re a greedy person who we are all envious of. When you are money hungry, you are put in the same category as greedy. However, You Are a Badass has outlined how to have a positive relationship with money. There is no crime in wanting to have stability, wanting better for your family, and striving to be financially secure. You can say you want to be rich all day long, but what are you saying about money behind its back? Money doesn’t want fake friends. It is attracted to people who are grinding to have a good relationship with it.

“Money is there if you really, truly desire it”.

Sincero helps us realize that all the money we want is out there, but what are we doing to get it? And once you get it, what are you plans with it? Are you grateful and appreciative? Will you be giving? Are you using it to enhance your life? Or are you going to be greedy? Let it dominate every aspect of your life? End up chasing it so hard that you actually chase it away?

Knowing this balance is what helps you keep a healthy relationship with money. You want it for stability and to fulfill your dreams, but you don’t let it take over your life.

Starting this blog, choosing a lucrative career, working any job under the sun is all about me going after what I want: financial security and my goal lifestyle. I’m not apologetic about this because I know I’m going about life in the right way and have a very charitable spirit. I’m a firm believer in you get back what you put out in the world. Don’t be shy about expressing your wishes. Chapter 24 of You Are a Badass has a whole layout for how to write out and manifest the money you want in life.

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Reason #10: You Are a Badass is All About Self-Love

Yay you finally made it to the end of this very long blog post and I thank you. The underlying theme of this entire book is the necessity of self-love. Every chapter ends with a message about loving yourself because if you don’t love yourself, who will?

The faith, belief, pride, and love that you have in yourself is the groundwork for whatever you want to do. If I didn’t love myself, I wouldn’t strive to accomplish all of my dreams. However, I have the confidence and pride to know that a little stumble can’t stop me and it shouldn’t stop you either. Don’t you want to provide Future You with the dream of a lifetime? That means you gotta get the Present You to step it up!

You also can’t reach your potential without caring for yourself.

You also have to take care of yourself. Your body is the vessel you have while you’re on Earth. It can’t do much if you run it ragged and don’t take care of it. Sleep. Eat. Bathe. Indulge. Exercise. Pamper (men too). In the words of Jen Sincero, “The better our bodies feel, the happier and more productive we are”.

Love it, treat it right, and talk nice about it. When you hate on yourself, you start to believe it. There is a highway between the mouth and the mind and you want eco-friendly cars only. Anything that pollutes the highway diminishes the beauty and the function of it. Think about this question. How do you react when you do something thoughtless? Do you respond with grace or do you respond with self-hate?

Notice the verbiage that runs through your mind when you’re being the most heinous to yourself and come up with a new-and-improved response.

Jen Sincero, You Are a Badass

If you wouldn’t allow a stranger on the street to say it about you, then don’t allow you to say it to you. You’re human, you’re goofy, you’re imperfect, you make mistakes, and you’re learning life on the fly. There’s no manual for this. Everything is trial-and-error. Your response to that will dictate how successful your experiment called Life is.

There’s only one you and you only get one body. Take care of both and love them. Know that you are a beautiful, smart, and capable human being who can take on any challenge. But if you happen to need a reminder or additional tips on how to turn your life around, check out You Are a Badass, and thank me later.

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